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Submitted on
March 2, 2013
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Dave Strider
That Ironic Girlfriend

Setting your head in your hand, you blinked at your best friend. "So, I met a guy. In a mall in Paris," you sighed boredly, slurping from your drink and biting your straw.

The albino across from you blinked. "The Paris that we live by, right? Not the big city in France, right? You didn't fucking go to France without me, right?" he hissed, reaching up to hit you- not an actual hit. More like a playful one.

You giggled, smiling over at the boy. "Karkles, I could never go to France without you. You and I promised to go together, right? Right. But seriously, I met a guy."

"Three words to describe him- Go."

You leaned into the padded chair, sipping on your straw and tapping your chin.

"You're really cute."

"Flirt, most definitely."

"What are you, some cool kid?"


"O... kay?"

You smiled at the thought, "He gives off the cool kid vibe."

"That's so ironic."

You sat your drink down, smiling at Karkat and humming out, "Ironic."

His response was immediate, "Sounds like a fucking douché."

"He had some douchéy feels around him, too, Karkles," you playfully teased, winking at your best friend. His ears turned pink with embarrassment, and he growled.

"One, don't call me that stupid pet name in front of my girlfriend who is working here. Two, why do you like him?"

You pulled you cellphone from your pocket, unlocking it and showing him a picture. It was of you and this cool kid, and you two were cuddled next to each other. Your long for the sake of the story (hair color) hair was pulled back into a pony tail, your (skin tone) cheeks lightly flushed. Your (eye color) eyes were closed and it appeared that you were laughing at something he said. The guy was probably a good three inches taller than you, if not more. His hair was a silky orange-blonde, and really light. He wore these ridiculous shades, and his smirk suggested so much with so little. "He was really sweet, in the douchéy-pervert-cool-kid kinda way," you sighed. "His name's Dave Stride-"

You got covered in terrible cola, since Karkat decided to spit his all over you.

"You have a crush on Strider!? Dave Strider!?" he asked, astounded, as you tried to wipe some of the sticky cola off of you, to no avail.

"Yes, Karkat, his name is Dave Strider. I'd ask how you know him- but now I'd rather go home and get cleaned up," you growled, picking your jacket up and off the back of your booth and wrapping it around you. "You're paying, douché kitty."

As you walked out, you caught Nepeta (Karkat's girlfriend) squealing, "Bye, (Name)! Stay purrfect!"

Walking towards your apartment, you dug around in your pockets, looking for your keys. Until you heard a honk. Turning around, you saw a cherry red pickup pulled to the side of the road, a certain man standing outside of it with one hand inside. You smiled, "Hey Dave!"

He motioned for you to come over, and so you did, standing next to him and shivering. "What happened to you?" he asked with his poker face. His voice gave way to his concern slightly when he added, "You're freezing. And shivering." Dave opened his jacket, allowing you to wrap your arms around his waist and snuggle into his warmth.

"Um... Well, the appropriate question to ask is how do you know Karkat Vantas?" you asked, looking up at him with wide eyes. Dave smiled- and by smiled you mean his lips twitched slightly.

"Ah! So you're the fucking princess Beep-beep-meow goes on about! With your 'righteous' attitude and 'fucking lazy ass' personality. Shoulda known I was in the presence of Lazy Royalty when I met you," he chuckled. You smiled.

"I prefer Privileged Royalty, but whatever you wanna call it." You snuggled into him again, inhaling deeply. "You smell good."

"You smell like soda. C'mon, I'll drive you to your apartment. We can even have sloppy makeouts on your couch after you get cleaned up." You stood away from him, turning and walking to the other si- No, walking's lame. You slid across the front, landing on your feet after preforming a flip off the side.

Not that Karkat needed to know, but you learn things after being Dave Strider's girlfriend for five months.

"That was so ironic."

"Keep it in your pants, Dave."
Don't lie to Karkat.
Major mistake.
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SharpPointyThings Featured By Owner May 4, 2014  Student General Artist
:icondatassplz: Dat ending
babymama90 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014
What's ironic is, I could never actually do that. The flip, that is. This is good stuff. Keep it up.
AnimefanGirlAki Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2014
hahaha I am laughin so hard right now it was so purrfect and Douche kitty that was so funny XD
AzoreaWitchOfRage Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
what if i don't want him to keep it in his pants?
canisMajor12 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013
*hugs you* My psychological twin. 
AzoreaWitchOfRage Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
MUIRavenBeauty Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
jorgethehedgehog Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013
Um Sorry For My Stupidness Ironic Huh? But Whats That R#1 Thing mean 
soxxymoxxy Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013  Student Writer
Request Numeral One~
AdorableVocaloid Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Student General Artist
"Keep it in your pants , Dave"
Dat Last line lol!
You make these so awesomely , 'awesomley' lol is that a word? lolz but still thankyou for making this ! I love being friends with Karkles and MeowMeows lol
I Must hug you!
And never let go!
lol :3 thankyou for making
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