[x]

Dat ass - Jake English - Homestuck [Reader insert]

"OW!"

Yeah, that was pretty much all I could say.

Well, cutting to the chase I can only say that I'm currently staggering here with a bloody nose, and the reason I am sooooo not telling.

The only thing I could thing of at this point was to run. Somewhere where he wouldn't see me.

"_____!"

Fuck. Speaking of the devil. Here he was. Of course there he was…

With out looking, I made a graceful mad-dash to the girls washroom holding onto my nose only yelling the words that came to my mind at that point.

"FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. BALLS. WALRUS. ASS. SHIT. FUCK NO."

I can guarantee half of my high-school campus could hear me loud and clear.

--- in

Sweet Threads. Reader x John Egbert

"Are you sure this is going to work, Dave?"

"Yeah, man. [Name] will totally want your dick after seeing you in those sweet threads."

"Okay…if you say so…"

= = = = = =

Dave was out for the day doing God knows what and [Name] and Davesprite were lounging about his apartment. It was a particular "do-nothing" day for the both of them, which meant it was either a Leap Year or just about every other day of the damn year. [Name] was a lazy fucker and people would just have to deal with it.

Davesprite was floating around in the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and gazing into the nearly empty contraption before closing the door on

Miracle Hinacle {SOLLUX CAPTOR}

[A/N]: OMG THE DESU.
Listen to Miracle Hinacle while reading this.
Link to English Lyrics and English Sun in the description!

Solluc Captor
Miracle Hinacle

Your name is... you don't remember... and you have a unique ability.

Using other's misery, you can turn it into good fortune. While you occasionally use it for yourself, you prefer to use it to help them.

Your legend is known as 'the miracle girl.'

Due to your ability, you've mastered the ability to control both time and space and bend them into positive outcomes. And because of that, you can bend the space around you to 'fly' or 'float.' You also bend time to 'disappear' from your 'v

DavespritexReader : Homestuck : Sessions Apart

NOTE: BEFORE CRITICIZING ME ON WHY WHAT IS WHAT PLEASE READ DESCRIPTION BEFORE COMMENTING.

It wasn’t long after Jade had rescued you from your planet being blown to pieces that you found Davesprite. You were another player from another server playing and somehow got caught up with one of the planets Jade had shrunk down and keeps safe. You’ve already ascended to god tier and was the (???) of (???). You didn’t know there were other players, you didn’t know how you got into their session, but at least you were safe. Your friends were all separated and you had no idea what had happened to them. You thought you were the

Homestuck: 7 Minutes in Heaven [Intro]You were sitting at home alone, as usual. You had popped a bowl of buttery popcorn and thrown in your DVD of ‘Wayne’s World.’ It was one of your favorites, and you hadn’t seen it in awhile. Besides, you weren’t one to go out on Saturday nights. You preferred staying home in your fortress of solitude, and you figured everyone else liked it that way, too.

As you threw some popcorn carelessly into your mouth, you cellphone rang. You paused your movie and checked the caller ID; it was Dave Strider. Of course, he was one of the only people who ever called you on a Saturday night. He always tried to get you to come to

Gamzee X Reader .:Spin The Faygo:.-----------------
I had some fun getting to narrate as Gamzee. Haha very rude language ahoy!
If you are sensitive to foul words why and exactly HOW did you read Homestuck?
-----------------

2nd Person POV
The sun was beginning to set as you sit.
Your first pick was definitely Gamzee,he was the troll who came to mind when it came to a first time experience and you really want to see his face when he witnesses such a sight.

He'd make you try just about everything when you went on sight seeing tours,and a few times he had to carry your sick ass home after vomiting due to some raw,gross foods or even things that weren't even food that Gam SOMEH

Tavros x Imaginary!Reader - BelieveTavros loved his imaginary friend. The two of them were the best of friends, always chatting and playing silly games. His imaginary friend’s name was Rufio. Tavros thought he was just the coolest, and he always wanted to be like him. That’s what best friends had always wished, right?

Even though Tavros and Rufio were best friends, no one believed Tavros when he said that Rufio was real. Gamzee pretended to think he was there, but it was never real. Karkat just scolded him for it. Dave said that only babies had imaginary friends. Even Jade, one of his closest human friends said that she had given up her imaginary friend when she w

Wishes are Ironic .:Reader X Dirk:.Haha...Well the plot for this was very thick and got mixed up. I hope this satisfies you. This is mainly based of my own life,so have fun. Also Pokemon and some 100d language.
______________
( Readers POV )
You sighed happily,the sunset almost gone and stars beginning to shine through. The truth was you wanted with all of your heart to sit with your bro,Dirk and watch this fantastic giant star set. You and him go back so far,as in Pokemon YELLOW old.

-Flashback-

You traded Pokemon cards with Dirk during Elementary,you had an extra cute Eevee card while he had the one card you needed to 'catch them all'. It was the relic Mew,from the fir

SBitC: Kankri x ReaderKankri x Reader
"I got Kankri..." you mumbled. You... Weren't really sure what to think about that. Sure, you liked him, and sure, you wanted to go out with him, but you didn't think you could handle seven minutes alone with him. He'd probably think your confession was some kind of trigger and start lecturing you about the importance of respecting others' boundaries.
You stood up and kind of dragged yourself into the closet. Kankri was pushed by Mituna after you, being told, "You need to get shomeone elshe to lescture!"
You both stood there awkwardly until you smiled, the perfect idea having popped into your head.
"Hey, Kankri?" you as

Letting Go {SOBER!GAMZEE}

Gamzee Makara
Letting Go

He had set your body in the corner of his little cove. He hadn't decapatized you, like the bodies of his old friends, and shoved you into a freezer. No, he had taken your corpse to Kanaya, sobbing and begging her to fix you. The jade-blooded rainbow-drinker had accepted, taking your corpse and stuffing it.

She had placed some makeup on your skin and dressed you in a handmade dress- it was long and orange, with purple trimming along the side. Your symbol- a large cross, like that in the Human's religions- was threaded into the purple belt that came under your chest in orange, completing the ensemble.

Kanaya present

Unwound. Reader x Davesprite

He didn't understand what part of him was angered by the fact she hung out with Dave all the time, because he was Dave; just not the Dave that she wanted to be with. In a way, he was just a copy – the future of the guy she liked, an orange-cream carbon copy. But, Davesprite knew that this Dave, the original Dave, did not think much of the [h/c] human girl – at least not yet, of course.

He cursed himself, the Dave in present time, with a vial hate. It was unfair to him to have to watch [Name] attempt to win Dave's affections over when she already had Davesprites', the Dave from the future, love.

But she didn't want him, she wanted Dave.

I a

Dirk x Reader - Roll Up

It’s about 12 o’clock in the afternoon and you’re sitting on the couch, curled up to your boyfriend, Karkat Vantas. The two of you are watching rom coms on a new flat screen that you had bought. You were excited to test it out, considering the fact that it took you months and many paychecks to obtain. You certainly enjoyed it and it seemed that Karkat did, too.

“[Name], get dressed.” Karkat says in a usual growling and demanding tone. “After this movie, we’ll go get something to eat.” You nodded and crawl out of your position to get dressed.

You head for yours and Karkat’s bedroom, where

A Bee and His Flower Mituna x Reader You saw a certain helmet-wearing troll laying in the grass outside his hive looking a tad upset. Hoping to fix this problem you ran over to him.
"Mituna~" you sang as you tackle hugged the yellow blood.

"Oh...hey (Name)!" he chirped.

"Wanna hang in the park?"

"Thure!" And with that he pulled you onto his board and skated off to your destination.

~~~~~~~~~TIMESKIP IRONICALLY BROUGHT BY A BADASS STRIDER~~~~~~~~~

You cheered as Mituna pulled off a successful kick-flip. You grew a bit worried as he headed towards a rail, but you were confident in his abilities. The troll jumped on it without any complications; however the lan

Loads of Trouble - JohnxReaderxDave

You sighed as you walked down the streets past the multitudes of coffee shops and clothing boutiques. Jade and Rose had just texted you apologizing that they couldn’t make it to the meet up with you. You hoped that finally all five of you guys could at least have one day where you all hung out, but that seemed impossible nowadays. You put away you phone and continued to walk to the park where it was said you guys would meet up. You turned the corner only to see two familiar figures. One was clad in blue and the other in red. They seemed to be in a fist fight and attracting a whole lot of attention.

Your eyes widened and you ran over to

To Babysit Yourself... {FLUSHED STRIDERS} R#8

Dirk Strider
Dave Strider
To Babysit Yourself...

Today started out like any other. You from a game of SGRUB, Dirk from Alpha and Dave from Beta, all sat on your couch, watching your TV and verbally attacking each other. The brothers deemed you ironic and cool enough to be hung with, what with your awesome Trollsition-Glasses that were always perfectly and ironically dark and your calm yet blunt demeanor.

That was until you received a knock on your hive's front door.

Standing up and brushing your indigo pants off (yes you were a highblood, but 'ironically' you didn't want to be a highblood, but a simple teal or blue blood), you walked to yo

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(Name): Proceed To Next Dream Bubble (Reader X...)

[A/N]: IT HAS BEEN MOTHERFUCKING FOREVER.
And for that, I apologize.
But now I'm on Christmas/Winter Break, and I decided to give you guys an extra long chapter to make up for it.
Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[(Name): Proceed To Next Dream Bubble]

As you floated through space-time/dream bubble/what the fuck is this plce, the two Trolls next to you, you decided to ask them about why they're here. Aradia, the one with her hair down, talked first.

"Well, Miss (Name), we honestly have no idea. We just... apperafied here one day." Aradia shook her head, but she looked back up at you, her orange and burgundy colored eyes welling with... blood? You gasp

Harper's ArmsHarper's Arms

Everyone runs into Harper's arms at least once in their career. You've seen Crosby do it, you've seen Salazar do it, you've even seen Mason do it. Hell, those are the people that are around him most, right? Right.

But apparently just because you're the 'coffee girl,' as Crosby calls you, you get to bump into Harper's gargantuan arms every fucking time you see him. Even if you don't see him, you do it.

Like now.

You pulled your hat further over your eyes, trying to hide the heat covering your cheeks from the rather perverse conversation you were having with Crosby. He had taken it upon himself that evry time he returns to bas

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Sleeping Beauty {Dirk Strider Crackfic!}

by ~soxxymoxxy, Jan 9, 2013, 11:00:26 AM
Literature / Prose / Fiction / Romance / General / Short Stories

[A/N]: Soxxy being ill crackfic time! You'll notice that it sucks. Because my head is pounding and I feel the need to vomit. But I'll still give you sexy Dirk time. ~~i just tried to spell time eight times FML~~

Dirk Strider
Sleeping Beauty

"Dirk."

No response.

"Dirrrk."

No response.

"Diiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkk."

Again, no response.

You turned to your side angrily, glaring at a ladybug on the floor. Yea, sure he was asleep. Yea, it was two AM. And yes, you had had a nightmare that woke you up.

But that doesn't mean that he could sleep.

You looked back at his sleeping form, noticing his glasses were still on. Softly, you slipped them off, putting the on your eyes.

"Wow Dirk," you mumbled in awe. Without his glasses, he looked kind of... cute. A little defenseless, almost. And you felt power well up inside you.

Dirk was asleep. You were awake. And you had his glasses.

You leaned over him, softly pressing your lips against his. You kept your eyes open, watching how he was startled out of his sleep, causing him to wake up and lock his bright orange eyes with your sunglass-covered (eye color) ones. Slowly, you pulled your head away, pulling the glasses further down your nose. "Time to wake up, sleeping beauty," you teased.

Dirk's eyes widened, and his mouth opened and closed a couple times, trying to form a sentence. Finally, he stuttered out, "(Name)?" You laughed silently, sitting back up and nodding your head.

"The one and only."

He looked over at his clock, rubbing his eyes. "It's two. In the morning."

"Yeah?"

"You woke me up."

"Yup?"

"And you're wearing my glasses."

"Uuuuhuuh."

Dirk grabbed your arms, flipping you over so that he was above you. Then he snatched his glasses off of your face, pushing them onto his own. With a slight twitch of his lips, he looked at you and said, "I hope you didn't plan on getting any sleep, then."

You blushed.

Gogdammit.

You just wanted to cuddle.

~~and somewhere in the world, soxxy is laughing maniacally.~~